Birth Story

Our munchkin turns 1 next month. I can't even believe that. I wanted to write his birth story before his bday. So, here it is.

To him.

Dear baby J,

On Thursday, February 18^th your dad & I woke up and decided to run some errands. We went to Lowes and to Bass Pro Shop (obviously we ran errands for your dad J). We took his truck, which was very difficult for me to get in & out of. I was having contractions, but very inconsistent. By the time we got to Bass Pro shop, I would have to stop walking to get through one. When we left, your dad had to pull next to a curb for me to get in. On the freeway home, the bumps were causing contractions (or at least, that’s what I thought). We got home and I rested.

It was Thursday also known as “train day” so your dad, your uncle & friends came over to work on the track. I rested inside and the contractions calmed down.

By bed time, they started up again and I decided to start writing down the length & times. I rolled around on my yoga ball to relieve the pain. Your dad decided to shower and sleep in his clothes, just in case. By the time he got out, I decided to shower also. At about 1 in the morning, I told him we should probably go to the hospital. They were getting a little more intense, and I wasn’t sure what was going on. I was clueless, I couldn’t tell if I was really close to giving birth or days away. Your due date wasn’t until March 1^st.

When we got to the hospital your dad wheeled me up to the 2^nd floor. The nurse asked if I could stand. I answered, “maybe for a minute if you need me to”. She told me to stay put.

She asked how far along I thought I was. I explained that I was dilated to a 2 on Tuesday, but really had no idea. She told me I was at an 8. 8!!!! Holy crap!!

We didn’t have time for an epidural, I needed a spinal. You were coming fast… Or so they thought.

A little time passed with more intense contractions.

I got the spinal, it helped, a little, and we started pushing. They informed me that you were “sunny side up”. It would be a little more difficult to get you out, but it was doable. We pushed & pushed, they tried to turn you around a bunch of times. You weren’t budging. You were snug.

3 hours later, the spinal was worn off. I was in a lot of pain and I’m not sure why, but they all left. It was me (no drugs and ready to go) and your poor dad. My body was taking over and pushing when it wanted. I was yelling because I just couldn’t get you out. Finally, another nurse came in. I swear they were switching shifts on me mid-labor and left us for about an hour alone. The dark hour.

The new nurse was awesome & ordered an epidural right away. The epidural came & it was glorious. I was nice to your dad again and we were so ready to do this!

Except.

I couldn’t.

I tried and tried. I could not get you out. The nurse told me to stop pushing. The doctor came in and explained that every time I had a contraction, your heart rate dropped. He mentioned a c-section. I couldn’t believe it, a c-section was the one thing I did not want. I wanted to bond with you right away, but at the same time, I was almost relieved because I was so, so tired and wanted to meet you. He explained a lot of things to us, but basically said this to your dad, “If it was my wife, we would have the c-section. It is not worth risking anything happening to the baby’s brain.”

And we were off to surgery!

All I could feel was pressure & tugging & pulling. I knew you were really stuck when the doctor had to make my incision a little bigger and still use a vacuum to get you out. (you were really nice & cozy in there).

Your dad watched and held my hand and then at 9:54am. You were born. I heard your cry, and I cried genuine tears of pure joy. I was so happy and excited to meet you. I couldn’t wait to see you.

The nurses weighed you, cleaned you and handed you to bond with your dad right away. He brought you over to me and I gave you a kiss. You were perfect.

After I was ‘put back together’, I was wheeled into the separate room where you were snuggling with your dad. I may not have got to bond with you immediately, but your dad did. And I am convinced that this is why you & him are so, so close. I was so cold I was afraid I couldn’t hold you because I was shaking so badly. The nurse told me to try, that I would be surprised how holding you would warm me up.

She was right. I immediately felt fine. I was warmed from my heart filling with love for you.

It was the happiest day of my life.